obs bla-bla :: [awesomeness] The Badass of the Week

[attenzione questo è un fork di un vecchio post che imho potrebbe pure fare da thread a parte]

[Montagu::post]
[PaguroPagano::post]
Oatmeal?

ma... è bellissimo!


a proposito, volevo farci un thread ma già che ci sono lo metto qui e poi vedete voialtri che farci:

The Badass of the Week è un altro sito che vale la pena avere tra i favoriti (se non c'era già e in tal caso mi scuso per l'obs), un po' per scoprire nuovi personaggioni che la Storia non ha dimenticato ma noi forse sì, un po' per divertirsi a leggere storie romanzate ma ricolme di awesome in un inglese lolloso

exhibit A: Fridtjof Nansen

estratto:

"Fridtjof Nansen was a tough-as-nails Norwegian psychopath with an impossible-to-spell first name and an unstoppable desire to constantly freeze his balls off and risk his life in the name of science and kickassery. Born in 1861 in a town near Oslo, as a teenager this super-brilliant, ultra-hardcore crazy person constantly went outside into the frostbite-inducing snow-covered wilderness Bear Grylls-style to test himself against the most volatile bullshit Mother Nature could furiously dump on him. Spending days and weeks at a time alone in the wild with just his faithful dog, a sharp knife, and his badass 'stache to keep him company, this guy quickly forged himself into a high-endurance asskicker. This dude was so ridiculously tough that that he could get out and cross-country ski fifty miles a day, every day, for pretty much as many days as he wanted. For those of us who have no idea what skiing two marathons back-to-back actually means, the 50km cross-country ski race (30 miles for those of you who continue to resist the global tyranny of the metric system) is the longest ski race the Olympics has ever offered. In the 1948 games, 20 world-class athletes busted ass and finished the race in times ranging from 4 to 5 hours, with seven more guys dropping out and not even being able to crawl their half-dead asses over the finish line. They haven't offered the race since, presumably because that bullshit constitutes something akin to "cruel and unusual punishment." For this guy it was half a day's ski in the woods."

exhibit B: Sir Richard Francis Burton

estratto:

"Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton was a completely crazy nutjob who had more adventures on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night than most lesser humans manage to cram into a two-week vacation inside the stomach of a still-breathing whale. This author, soldier, adventurer, explorer, geographer, translator, linguist, fencer, duelist, anthropologist, and pretty much anything else you can ever think of –ist spoke a mind-crushing 29 different languages and dialects fluently, wrote 50+ books ranging in content and sanity from travelogues to erotic fiction, explored uncharted lands in India, Africa, and the Middle East, and was the first person to translate the borderline-pornographic content of The Kama Sutra and The Arabian Nights into English. He also had a gnarly attitude, a glorious beard, and a hot temper that drove him to kill more people than a Dirty Harry movie."

exhibit C: Leonardo da Vinci

estratto:

"Leonardo Da Vinci invented the sniper rifle. Did you know that? No kidding, in the early 16th century Leonardo Effing Da Vinci was standing on the walls of his besieged hometown of Florence, Italy, firing down at enemy soldiers 300 yards away with a custom-built wheelock rifle he had fitted with a homemade telescopic sight designed to improve accuracy and range. He did lots of other totally sweet stuff too, of course, and it's high time we started recognizing this crazy scientific and artistic mastermind for something other than the half-insane notion that he was some kind of ridiculous Knight Templar who enjoyed constructing overly-elaborate puzzles, stealing religious artifacts, and rabbit-punching theology professors in the junkbags when they were least expecting it.

Born in 1452 near a town called Vinci (it appears that "Da Vinci" is more than just a clever epithet), Leonardo was pretty much one of the most brilliant human beings ever produced by our species. In addition to the afore-mentioned 16th century headshot-dealing sniper rifle, he also laid out plans for all kinds of other crazy crap, most of which wouldn't be actually expounded upon by lesser geniuses until a couple centuries after Leo's death. His almost-unbelievable list of inventions includes things like helicopters, bicycles, tanks, pontoon bridges, cameras, solar power, calculators (though evidently not solar-powered calculators), the internal combustion engine, siege engines, a mechanical animatronic lion, a machine that pulls bars off of stone windows, a machine designed to open jail cells from the interior, and a device called the "Aerial Screw", which quite honestly sounds like the name of some kind of insane inverted pole dancing maneuver. I can't overemphasize how goddamned ridiculous it is that Da Vinci conceptualized the freaking helicopter at a time when most people were riding around on donkeys and using a sundial to approximate the time of day. Seriously, the freaking printing press was considered cutting-edge technology in these days, and Da Vinci was one step away from dusting Versailles in a goddamned Apache Gunship."

That's not an opinion, that's science. And science is one cold-hearthed bitch with a 14-inch strap-on (Vince Masuka)

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Ammetto di farlo anche solo per aumentare il numero di thread indipendenti su asph dopo le recenti analisi di festerbestertester, tuttavia questo post lo avrei sempre voluto forkare e insomma eccolo qui.

Ah nel frattempo è uscita la pagina su Reinhold Messner


That's not an opinion, that's science. And science is one cold-hearthed bitch with a 14-inch strap-on (Vince Masuka)

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fa schifo

la morale, la storia, la geometria, la pace e la guerra non sono che fuffa - prikedelik

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OBS ma relativamente ok

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The greatest mountain climber of all time was born in a place called Brixen, South Tyrol, which is technically part of Italy but may as well be Austria anyways.
ahaha ahahah magico questo periodo
supermaz è l'uomo giusto per qualsiasi persona che abbia dei gusti raffinati ed un cuore grande. (muffa)
una donna può campare ancora oggi facendo ciò che faceva la sua antenata del tremila avanti cristo, cioè la puttana o la sguattera o entrambe, mentre l'uomo purtroppo non può più vivere di guerra e di caccia, nè farsi giustizia con arco e frecce (scotto)
rebis è la ragazza della porta 80 accanto(}-{aiku)

Asphalto ChillEx | Vieni a giocare a L4D2!

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toh c'è pure Garibaldi

cmq ci sono anche personaggi di fantasia, ad es

Wolverine

" While I won't question the badassitude of the Nazi-fighting spy-samurai lumberjack story, I really only know him as the mysterious Logan, a Canadian badass woodsman who chomps cigars and spends all of his time being drunk, super-hairy, and completely covered in whatever substance passes for the blood of his usually-bizarre enemies, and there was something kind of awesome about him not really having any backstory at all. Honestly the only thing more badass than having no family history and just one name is if your parents give you "Danger" as a middle name on your birth certificate. Back in the good old days when we rode our bikes 300 miles up a magma-covered volcano to buy comics we didn't really understand what the hell was going on with Logan or his past, and we were fine with it as long as he wasn't whining and bitching about it all the time."

Godzilla

"Godzilla is huge. And by huge, I mean really fucking huge. He’s so big he makes the T. Rex from Jurassic Park look like something out of one of those fruity calendars with pictures of newborn kittens on them, and unlike a lot of epically giant things out there he has the good sense to use his massive size as a means with which to destroy anything that crosses his path, smashing buildings with his giant fucking tail, punching pagodas until they become giant flaming explosions, and using commuter trains as nunchucks with which to pummel the life of out other giant mutated monsters that get in the way of his mission to completely eradicate all human life on the planet."




That's not an opinion, that's science. And science is one cold-hearthed bitch with a 14-inch strap-on (Vince Masuka)

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[PaguroPagano::post]punching pagodas until they become giant flaming explosions,
lollllll
supermaz è l'uomo giusto per qualsiasi persona che abbia dei gusti raffinati ed un cuore grande. (muffa)
una donna può campare ancora oggi facendo ciò che faceva la sua antenata del tremila avanti cristo, cioè la puttana o la sguattera o entrambe, mentre l'uomo purtroppo non può più vivere di guerra e di caccia, nè farsi giustizia con arco e frecce (scotto)
rebis è la ragazza della porta 80 accanto(}-{aiku)

Asphalto ChillEx | Vieni a giocare a L4D2!

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[PaguroPagano::post]"Godzilla is huge. And by huge, I mean really fucking huge. He’s so big he makes the T. Rex from Jurassic Park look like something out of one of those fruity calendars with pictures of newborn kittens on them, and unlike a lot of epically giant things out there he has the good sense to use his massive size as a means with which to destroy anything that crosses his path, smashing buildings with his giant fucking tail, punching pagodas until they become giant flaming explosions, and using commuter trains as nunchucks with which to pummel the life of out other giant mutated monsters that get in the way of his mission to completely eradicate all human life on the planet."

ciao raga che si dice?!

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hideyoshi è grandioso hah hahahah
DVRITIAM CORDIS VESTRIS SAXA TRAERE MERVISTIS
L'orzata in frigo è imperdonabile. (Squallido Master)
Scegliamo di mangiare una polenta abbrustolita, e la chiediamo senza alcun abbinamento. (Il Maestro)
[Fred::post]l'asphalto tutto = quella merda di rodolfo, che raccoglie i consensi dello 0.03% di asphalto (ovvero la sua utenza e basta)

Io sono solito stampare in formato A3 col plotter i post di rodolfo per poi arrotolarmeli attorno al corpo nudo e gettarmi nei letamai del circondario. (supermaz)

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stranamente ci linki un muso giallo vestito da pagliaccio. dai basta sei monotematico, rinnovati!
supermaz è l'uomo giusto per qualsiasi persona che abbia dei gusti raffinati ed un cuore grande. (muffa)
una donna può campare ancora oggi facendo ciò che faceva la sua antenata del tremila avanti cristo, cioè la puttana o la sguattera o entrambe, mentre l'uomo purtroppo non può più vivere di guerra e di caccia, nè farsi giustizia con arco e frecce (scotto)
rebis è la ragazza della porta 80 accanto(}-{aiku)

Asphalto ChillEx | Vieni a giocare a L4D2!

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Despite the crippling boringness of his tax reforms and the failure to fulfill his dream of crushing Korea, conquering the Chinese Empire, and then eventually colonizing Alpha Centauri with samurai space cruisers and giant mecha robots, Toyotomi Hideyoshi is a pretty insane dude.
no dai mi ha fatto lollare a bestia
Maffa vende saponette ottenute dai coglioni triturati dalla saggezzzza di Maffa

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tra l'altro è azzeccatissimo
DVRITIAM CORDIS VESTRIS SAXA TRAERE MERVISTIS
L'orzata in frigo è imperdonabile. (Squallido Master)
Scegliamo di mangiare una polenta abbrustolita, e la chiediamo senza alcun abbinamento. (Il Maestro)
[Fred::post]l'asphalto tutto = quella merda di rodolfo, che raccoglie i consensi dello 0.03% di asphalto (ovvero la sua utenza e basta)

Io sono solito stampare in formato A3 col plotter i post di rodolfo per poi arrotolarmeli attorno al corpo nudo e gettarmi nei letamai del circondario. (supermaz)

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categorie Espandi/contrai